Woman eats 30,000 calorie Christmas meal

A New Jersey woman who hopes to become the fattest woman in the world got 30,000 calories closer to her 1,000lb goal with a festive feast that could have fed dozens of revellers. Donna Simpson, sitting in a reinforced metal chair, chowed down on the world’s biggest Christmas dinner as she ate for two straight hours on Saturday. The single mother-of-two tucked into two 25lb turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 15lbs of potatoes (10lbs roast, 5lbs mashed), five loaves of bread, five pounds of herb stuffing, four pints of gravy, four pints of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 20lbs of vegetables.

After polishing off her enormous main course, she still had room for dessert and ate a ‘salad’ made of marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies.
Donna’s two children, Devin, 14, and Jacqueline, three, enjoyed a more modest feast. The 5’2 Donna defended her £150 meal, saying: ‘I eat as much as I want, whenever I want but at this time of year I really go all out.”

You think? For those of you who feel they stuffed themselves, this should make you feel better. I imagine watching her eat all that was gruesome. The family should have charged a fee to watch.

New Jersey woman weighs 600 pounds, wants to weigh more

Donna Simpson already weighs over 600 grotesque pounds, but she is determined to gain more weight to become the world’s fattest woman.

“I’d love to be 1,000lb, she said. It might be hard though. Running after my daughter keeps my weight down.”

Donna, who wears XXXXXXXL dresses, eats mounds of junk food and tries to move as little as possible.

You would expect her long-term partner Philippe, 49, to advise her to slim down, but instead he encourages her to eat more.

He met Donna on a dating site for plus-size people and is a self-confessed fat admirer, although he himself only weighs 150lbs.

“I think he’d like it if I was bigger, said Donna. He’s a real belly man, and completely supports me.”

To achieve her goal, Donna says she will need to eat up to 12,000 calories a day (the average woman should consume only 2,000.)

To fund the massive $750 weekly food shop, she runs a website where men pay her to watch her stuff her face.

“I love eating and people love watching me eat, she said. It makes people happy, and I’m not harming anyone.”

I love the “running after my daughter” line. You mean wheeling that cart of yours around going after her? That’s like doing a decathlon.

And I wonder how much she makes from that site? There’s an idea Drew. Being you are a “businessman”, you might start thinking of setting up a camera in that nest of yours. If people pay to watch this slob eat, why wouldn’t they pay to see a sloth like you?

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