Six inches under. With Rocket Queen

RQ: this is me and snickers. and did i ever tell you my hamster, Carlos died? I was genuinely crushed for months. I kissed him and made a grave for him…yes i kissed a dead hamster. one time i gave a pigeon cpr and it like exploded. it was weird. i love animals and they just love me. pics attached of carlos.

Son of a bitch, Carlos died? I was wondering why the flags were hanging at half mast at all the post offices the other day. Certainly looks like a proper burial, was your toilet backed up? As much as you love animals, I would have thought you would have bought him a tomb or something.

And that dog looks like he’s just thrilled to be in your company, Giraffe. You’re like the dog whisperer.

Rocket Queen looks for a new man. And finds Tripplechuck

Rocket Queen: cruising match and plenty of fish this morning to find myself a new man.   I hope there will be some legislation soon that prohibits the mentally handicapped from using the internet or at least gives them their very own internet universe where everything ends in .retard instead of .com.  wtf?

tripplechuck

hi there im very pleased to meet you im sure im very outgoing because im going out i have to be somewhere all the time or im not satisfied .

About my life and what I’m looking for

hi im very outgoing resposible and vigurous cant stand sitting around have to be doing somethang or i be getting board real easy i dont like boaring people either kinda laid back and chilaxen for me do leave the dramma at da curb please……………
Active within 3 days
  • 48-year-old man
  • Mesa, Arizona, United States
  • seeking women 18-35
  • in United States 

Funny Giraffe. But I’m like Chuck. I don’t like to be board either. When I was a kid, I had a skatebored. I also like to chilax. I suggest if you contact Chuck you leave the dramma like kidnapping hamsters at da curb.

Rocket Queen goes out on a date


I send an e-mail to Giraffe asking her how her last date went:

OH SPURS FAN (she actually used my first name, but only Drew and Pam are allowed to do that, being we are pals and all), well, it is hard to know where we left off. I’ve been on several dates. I’ve invested in a stethoscope. Well, it was only $24. I thought it was a good idea since my last date was really old and he (old codger) kept nodding off. He looked like a wax figure and I was highly suspicious at first. But, desperation will drive you to do many things, SPURS FAN. Please meet Vic. His pic is attached. Oh, as an aside, Vic absolutely DEMANDS that his women be above average in looks. And he will claw your eyes out if you dispute for one second that he is a “sharp dresser”. I’d like to push him against the edge of a sharp dresser after Saturday night.

What is your problem? Of course Vic here is picky and and insists his women are above average in looks. Isn’t this guy Gary Busey’s dad?

Rocket Queen checks in for Valentine’s Day


Been a long time. I went to your blog and saw people are sending in V-Day pix, so here is one of me. I had a car accident with my mom; it was not my fault. We were in Texas for a week, down south, corpus Christi. We had just decided that we were going to drive up to San Antonio and go to that River Walk. Never made it there, bummer. All is well now, though. You can add a big “fuck you” to Dirty Nasty in my V-Day message. The party was a charity event for animals, a private party, very cool. I think I told you ahead of time that I’m afraid Wet Anus would be there, and sure enough, he was. Didn’t know he liked animals, shy of fucking them. Dirty Nasty and Wet Anus probably went home with their gambling winnings and didn’t leave anything for the animals. I have a stack of chips here from that evening that I did not cash in. Cheap asses, bunch of drunken idiots.
Missed ya, buddy! Missed everyone!

g.

Thanks for checking in Giraffe. We’ve missed you around here. I’m sure Dirtynasty and Wet Anus will appreciate your thoughts.

Dirtynasty goes to a party

yo Spurs, its dirtynasty here. Been a long time. Anyways Im going to make this quick. I was at this party a couple weeks ago in scottsdale and I was looking through the pics that were taken by the professional photographer and who do I see? RQ! hahaha. She was at the same party as me and I was too drunk to know. Whats even better was Wet Anus was there too ! BTW the dude that she is with in the picture was probably the biggest douche/geek at the party!!! Its too bad I didnt notice her, bc I was so drunk I definately would have banged her!!

What’s up Dirtynasty? Thanks for checking in, it’s been too long. I’m quite sure Rocket Queen would be thrilled to read that you “would have banged her.” That’s funny. Then again, you are a self proclaimed doctor now, I hope that’s working out for you.

Tell Wet Anus the hillbilly in West Texas (I guess he really doesn’t know geography that well) says hello. It’s kind of disappointing he’s never left a comment here.

And as far as Rocket Queen? I have to say, she looks good in this pic.

This should clear it up


Hello, we’ve become aware what our son has been up to for awhile. We thought we should write you and clear the air. We became aware of what he was doing when our next door neighbors came screaming over and said, “Did you see? Micheal Jackson’s death was a hoax! He just went away and got more plastic surgery and now just looks more ridiculous than ever! Plus, now he can’t dance for some reason. We have the video!” So went to our computer and checked the video, sad to say, we saw our son dancing around on a random site, looking like a fucking fool. We also saw where he flashed his red panties. What an attention whore. Which is weird, because he’s always made fun of them. What a hypocrite our piece of shit has become.

So we’ve sat on the sidelines for awhile, wondering when we should chime in. We saw your post where it appeared he burnt down our house. Not the case. We made him sleep out in the barn with the other animals. He always acted like one, so we put him out there to stay. It’s probably why that’s the only species he can get along with.

Our son was always the type to dish out things, but when the tables were turned, or he thought someone slighted him for the most minuscule thing, he would go bat shit crazy and act like the world was against him. He would start going on rampages, sprouting his shit mouth off about people. We didn’t have the heart to tell him that all his insults dished out pretty much described himself.

But sadly he is our son, so we feel like it’s time to he comes home. He always goes off about how rich he is and can do whatever he wants, so we thought he could hop in his helicopter or small plane he’s more than likely deluded himself into thinking he owns, and fly his sorry ass back home, so we can tell him that we don’t ever want anything to do with him right to his ugly, botoxed to the limit freak fucking face. If he needs to, he can spend the night. In the barn again. But he has to leave the next day.

As you can see, we painted a symbol for him to “land.” We know enough about him by now just to along with his delusional shit brain and pretend the fantasies he’s plotted around in that thick skull of his are true. PHD? Hilarious.

You can’t win with him SPURS FAN. No one can. He expects because he has no fucking life, and spends his days making shit bag videos of his stupid bird and his tranny fucking body talking like a complete nut, everyone else should go along. I mean, he pretended he was Richie Rexic? And made a video about it? What kind of loser would do such a thing? Does he not realize how stupid he looks?

That’s all, just wanted to sorry to everyone on behalf of our son. Please just ignore him, and he will go crazy.

Thanks,

Sadly, a member of that fucking nut job’s family.

SPURS FAN says: Awesome. I believe this one completely. Did you know he went crazy again because some “anonymous” was flirting with Pam on the post of her Trout, and that fuck nut freak didn’t like it? But he can post personal shit of people and act like a fucking psychopath? Priceless.