The Perfect Body. By Me. But you already knew that

The real Michael Phelps

I’m like a damn dolphin in the water now. Check out how lean and refined I am. Speaking of water and exercise, is there an ocean in Tucson we can send Oz to? Preferably with a pair of cement shoes on? I’m really tempted to post his fat, sloppy body again, just so we can all get a good laugh. Don’t worry, I’ll X his chubby, chipmunk-cheeked face out, I mean, we wouldn’t want him to lose his job, would we? (as if there isn’t another Kinko’s he could transfer to)

I’m a Space Cadet

So this guy who owns this convenience store across the street from my job is always telling me about this stuff called Space. How it’s like strong grade weed and can really get you super duper high. For the longest time I was thinking, “Please, I’ve done enough drugs to kill a thoroughbred
horse”, like some legal garbage is going to get me high.

Well, I finally tried it out. The lights are on, but nobody is home. I can’t put into words had good this stuff is. But on the back of the packet it reads that it’s not supposed to be smoked, so don’t go and do that.

Important Notice (like anyone is still reading this post at this point): I just have a sneaky suspicion that this site might get deleted off Blogger soon, so I’ve been setting up the site on WordPress (Thanks a lot AZ Anonymous).  This site’s posts and comments are currently loading at  I’ll try to get the site name over there to remain the same as it is here as soon as possible. But I bought the name through Google and Godaddy, so it’s a pain process. The comments are really loading slow over there, so you won’t see them all yet. Can’t believe this site has had 138,643 comments so far. That’s awesome. Thank you.

I believe with WordPress, I’ll be like a caged bird set free. By bird I mean that big colorful bird homeboy in Avatar saved the day with. Like that type of bird.

A website is super pissed at me

This site finally hit the mainstream. It seems that is pissed I’ve been taking some pics and content (Miley Cyrus bloomer pics and the Kardashian naked pics) from him. Which is understandable. So now I’m getting e-mails from his readers (he and his readers are funny I have to say), telling me I should die and burn in hell. I admit I ripped off the content on both of those posts. I figured on the Kardashian pics someone would let him know. Which they did.

I told him I wouldn’t do it anymore, but he went ahead and posted what you see above, which is cool by me.  Anyway, if you want some celebrity content, go to  Dude is funny I have to admit. Except saying I should die, that’s not very funny. It’s just mean.

I’m not sure if I will ever post again, I’m really thinking of blowing my brains out over these e-mails I have received.

Lindsay has a sense of humor

So Lindsay sends this to me (Yes I still talk to her. What can I say? I want to “make love to her”-i.e. bang her, but I’m just being romantic and all) after I tell her that in one of my classes I’m doing some project with this girl and she tells me that I might need this with the attached words, “I thought you might be able to appreciate this.”

I really don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, I know I have a small cock, I think she might be mocking me.

Close call

So last night I was speeding along I-10 (I’m “riding dirty”) and I get pulled over by a DPS officer. I do the normal routine when I get pulled over (show the hands out the window–scores points) and he comes up to my window. Asks me where I’m going (home), you know, the normal questions. He goes back and runs my driver’s license and asks me to step out of the car. He then proceeds to ask me if I’ve ever been arrested. I said, “Yeah, for the distribution of cocaine, but it was knocked down to possession.” So he tells me there’s a K9 unit down the road and if he called the K9 over would the rat (my words) dog would find anything. So I said, “Yep, I put two pipes (I just recently bought a new one) underneath the passenger’s seat.” I told him one is empty but the other one has some weed in it. So he searches and finds the pipes, brings the one loaded to me and says, “Hey, there’s still some marijuana in here, if you have a lighter on you I’ll let you finish it off.” (no shit, he really said that). So I laugh and say no thanks, he knocks the weed out of the pipe and tells me he’s letting me off on a warning for the speeding (I was doing 12 miles over), but he has to write me up for something, so he gives me a ticket for drug paraphernalia possession (it’s like a speeding ticket here). He says, “Had you lied to me and I decided to search, I would have arrested you. Have a safe trip home.”